Dot dot dot

Have you ever wondered whether messaging apps can tell our relationship status through the number of characters in our texts? Forget about the fact that they can read their content. I’m talking about the length, the pace. That’s probably enough to decipher where we stand.

In the beginning, texts are small - “Hi how are you today?” or “What do you do for work?” - simple questions, as we dip our toes in the water. If it goes well, though, the blue boxes will grow larger and larger. We’ll show off our phones to our friends, scrolling up and down the conversation to demonstrate how much we’re talking, how deep we’re going before even meeting this person. Long texts are the sign that it’s promising.

As we start dating, texts shrink but grow more frequent. “I have to work late” or “Karen brought cake.” We share daily updates, but we keep the good stuff, the long stuff for when we actually see each other.Itss heart reacts and kissing face emojis. And that, in itself, is enough to make our stomachs churn.

If we date for long enough, long texts will come back. They won’t be a good sign anymore, though. Long texts means something’s afoot. Long texts betray the frustration we feel when you cancel our plans last minute or when I’m being bitchy about the restaurant you chose. Long texts are for the stuff we should say out loud but can’t. Perhaps because we’re afraid. Or, perhaps, texting is about talking to ourselves more than to each other.

And then, one day, the dot dot dots pop up, fade back, and the chat goes silent.

Small texts may pop in on occasion. “Happy Birthday!” “Heard about your job, congrats!” There may even be an accidental long one here and there when one of us is drunk and/or lonely. That one might be hateful or joyful or simply horny, it’s anyone’s guess.  

I hope the short ones never stop, though. I vow not to let our chat reach the bottom of my contact list. For dot dot dot to perpetually turn into something - funny, lovely, angry - anything that’ll tell the bots what we once meant to each other.

What we still do.

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